Remorseful Pride
by Crysie
Summary: Yamato struggles with realizing the most important thing in the world may not be his bass guitar, but his boyfriend. He learns this the hard way, and it almost costs him everything he values. Very sweet Taito with bits of Yama angst *Complete*
1. Broken Love

Disclaimer: I don't own Digimon. Please don't sue.  
  
Beware of sappiness and sweetiness in later chapters.  
  
**Remorseful Pride  
Chapter 1: Broken Love**  
  
  
In the face of every human on this earth, there is something each hold deeply in their hearts, in their souls. Whether it was something materialistic, such as a rare ornament or family heir loom, or a nonmaterialistic item, such as the love of a soul mate or the feeling of content in one's life, it was the most important thing to each. Like everyone else, I held something close to my heart that was considered among importance more than anything else. Only, it was shattered one day. Broken into pieces that could not be fixed.   
  
One would think it was my brother, Takeru. He was of an importance and meant very much to me. I cared for him, loved him because he was my brother. We had the same blood, same physical features and even held emotions that were similar. However, he wasn't what I would call my soul item. He meant more to me than many things on the face of the earth, but didn't hold a dime to what I was talking about.  
  
Another person one would think would be my boyfriend, Yagami Taichi. His love and fondness we had for each other was enough to make anyone think he was the most important thing in my life. We held hands in public, even kissed and made love in public (when it was dark out, of course). How could he not be the most important thing in my life?  
  
A simple matter of my music came into play. My band, perhaps, is above all? Kenta, Ren, Shou, and Shun are the ones I hold dearly to my heart? Of course not. I care for them as deeply as I do for the Digidestined. Still, the music we made was involved in what I cherished. It was more of what made the music that had overtaken my love.   
  
My bass guitar. It had the most beautiful sound. When I sat on the edge of my bed, strumming my beautiful gift from my father on my fourteenth birthday, it was better than any time I have made love to Taichi. I never told him this. He may still have the alter-ego he had as a child, but I wouldn't dare crush it. That would be like transforming my Taichi into a whole different person, a person I could even fall out of love with.   
  
Everyday, I played my guitar, listening for the cadence, the rhythm that touched my heart. It was a rhythm that had more of a profound feeling than jogging, dancing and making love. It was a rhythm that beat with my heart and caused me to hum quietly in content once I finished whatever it was that I was playing. I felt on top of the world with my guitar.   
  
The mere thought of it excited me. Of going home after a long day of studying in school and just sitting on either a chair or my bed while strumming my guitar could take my breath away. Or perhaps it was the fact that I sometimes ran home just to play it? No, I couldn't allow that thought to persuade itself true. It wasn't true. Now that I'm in university, I don't run home excited like some immature school boy. However, I still play my guitar everyday in the small apartment Taichi and I live in. Or used to.  
  
We began our relationship when we were a mere fifteen years old with neither of sure what to say or do to make it work. Everything was so new, so different. It was hard to understand anything about each other that we should have already knew, but we were both so nervous. Over a length of time, those feelings subsided into a pure fondness for each other that included making out, groping each other, in which continued to losing our virginity's at the age of sixteen. At that point, I felt something I never had before (and no, it wasn't the wonder of having an orgasm with someone being the one to pleasure you). I felt as if my bass guitar would be coming into second, especially after everything I had felt the first night with Taichi.   
  
The feeling did not last. Our love making turned into a routine, a good routine, but did not compare to my bass guitar. I made it seem like that, though. Sometimes I think Taichi did know I loved my bass guitar as much as life itself, which may have put the strain on our relationship further. Perhaps if I hadn't put such an emphasis on not disturbing me whilst playing it, Taichi would have not felt so left out?  
  
I did enjoy his company at times, but there were times when I would snap at him to leave me and find his own things to do, and that I was not an entertainer. Now, six months after that occurred, the void of content eats away at my insides, leaving me empty, without a comfort in my life. Two of my favorite things had disappeared at the same time, the same day, even. Within a few hours of each other.  
  
It started when I had been feeling particularly down, mainly because Takeru and I had gotten into an argument of what to do about our mother. Takeru had made the grand, foolish mistake of getting a young woman pregnant of whom he worked with. He's only nineteen, too young in the eyes of both my mother and I. He had told me he wanted to keep it a secret for as long as possible, but I tried talking him into telling Mother so that he could get help. Naturally, the disagreement turned into an argument of hurtful words. This had proceeded me into hanging up on him and beginning to play my precious bass guitar.  
  
Then, Taichi came home.  
  
How come you haven't made supper?  
  
The first words out of his mouth. No greeting of come sort. A kiss on the cheek would have even been satisfying. When our relationship had gotten out of the stage of awkwardness, he did everything possible to make me smile, which was satisfying enough to him. Now, it seemed, he didn't care anymore. It was a relationship of sex and love. I know I loved him, but I didn't just want love. I wanted the passion, the happiness that came with that. At the time, I didn't realize that. I thought I was content with our relationship and happy enough to just deal with him. I suppose deep down I wasn't.   
  
I'm so sorry I haven't, your royal highness. My sarcastic remark must have gotten to him in some way or another because he sat in front of me and stared up. I pretended as if he wasn't there and continued to play, well aware he was sitting there, staring up at me. As I finished the song I had been strumming, he spoke.  
  
What's wrong?  
  
I said softly.   
  
He hadn't left like I assumed he might and instead, stood and wrapped his arms around my shoulders. Leaning down, he softly planted kisses along the back of my neck, whilst running his hands along the front of my chest. I suddenly felt unaware of anything he was doing and had allowed him to continue his ministrations. There was a song flowing through my head; a soft melody that whisked me away from my bedroom and flew me high into the sky. Music notes floated through the air, like you see on cartoons that show music is playing, and I laid back onto a pillow of clouds. I moaned softly, fully realizing it sounded like a song I had been playing myself one day.   
  
Abruptly, the music seemed to hurt. It tugged at my clothing sharply and was trying to steal my guitar out of my hands. I grasped it tightly as whining sounds escaped my lips. The guitar was suddenly out of my hands, being taken away ever so slowly. I cried out and began pushing whatever was on top of me. My eyes suddenly opened; the fantasy of clouds, music notes and relaxation gone in that single moment. Taichi stared at me with what seemed to be confusion as he held the guitar up in the air.  
  
What are you doing? I asked angrily.  
  
I remember him snorting and putting my beauty to the side. He looked back at me with desire in his eyes and I was almost fooled into them as he began to kiss me, unbuttoning my clothing. Suddenly, I was aware of everything. The happiness fading, my beloved resting upon the floor... Everything was suddenly wrong. I felt naked. Looking down, I realized I was close to being so, just as my love was. It didn't feel right, though.   
  
Anger swept through me quickly, and I had found myself beginning to push Taichi off of me. He had always been stronger, but with the small ball of rage I held, I pushed him away and leapt to my guitar.  
  
You'd think that piece of wood is what you want to fuck, he snarled.  
  
I ignored him, setting my guitar in a better position than Taichi had.   
  
Please Yamato, tell me what is wrong.  
  
I felt his naked body settle along my bare back. My knees were upon the ground, my body hovering towards my guitar. It was sitting there, begging me to play it. I could feel it. Picking it up, soft notes filled the air as I stroked it. Taichi had sighed and held my waist, kissing my shoulder softly. He began stroking my shoulder the same way I was to my guitar, and I began feeling smothered; I knew which one I didn't want there.  
  
Get away from me, I said, not once stopping the melody.  
  
Excuse me?  
  
You keep distracting me. Stop it! I think you should leave, Taichi. My voice hardly wavered as I said those words. It should have because of my love for Taichi. So much guilt runs through me to this day of how selfish I had acted. Did I not have the decency to think of him?  
  
But... You––I––huh?––why?  
  
Stop your stuttering, I said. I stood and lifted my guitar, opening the screen as I walked onto our balcony.   
  
He followed me outside of the door, leaning against the rail as I began to breathe in the music I was creating. I could feel him watching me, his eyes fixing on my bass guitar. I remember wondering why he was so keen on it, but it didn't last for long.  
  
What the _hell_ is your problem?   
  
I ignored him once again, still engaging myself into the flow of my music. Now that I think about it, I had always been one to ignore my problems. They blew out of proportion and it was always my fault for not confronting them sooner.  
  
Answer me, Ishida, Taichi said. A breeze washed upon the two of us, bringing us a disoriented silence for a matter of moments; my music had even hushed.  
  
You want to know the truth? I asked, my eyes drifting upwards.  
  
He paused for a moment, a small gasp escaping his lips. Of course.  
  
I. Don't. Want. You. Around. The words came out slowly and I paused between each one, trying to get the point across by that. If only I were able to conceal my anger in another way. If only Taichi hadn't come home early. None of this would have occurred. I would have calmed down and ordered Chinese food, and the two of us would have made love in the late night. Things didn't occur in that fashion because it was early evening without any supper and I doubted any love making would ensue.   
  
What do you mean? he asked, his voice a tiny whisper, like the breeze that had flown through our hair moments ago.  
  
My eyes fell upon my guitar and I couldn't help but stroke a few strings.  
  
Would you just put that piece of wood down? he snapped, reaching forward.  
  
_Piece of wood? _A _piece of wood? _That's what you think of my bass, my music? A_ piece of wood_! That rage that had been inside me earlier had come back, only much stronger than before.   
  
Don't be such a drama queen, Yama! For crying outloud, we need to deal with whatever the hell is your problem and don't need your guitar in the way.  
  
As if everything he had just said before didn't sink in, I said, Glad to know what you think of my music, Taichi.  
  
He let out a frustrated cry and reached forward, taking a hold on my precious. He was pulling it out of my grasp, just like he had in the bedroom. How could he? He was my love; was it right for him to be taking away my prized possession?  
  
Stop it! I remember shouting. I also recall pushing him away, which only furthered the rage he must have held into taking it away from me.  
  
He said nothing as he took a stronger hold than I ever could and flung the delicate instrument out of my hand. Only, it didn't fall into his own possession. Instead, it soared into the air in what seemed to be slow motion. What goes up, must come down. It began to descend, still in slow motion. However, it wasn't fast enough for either me or Taichi to grab. He had gasped and finally flung forward, but with no avail.  
  
My soul, my life, my first love – gone in that very instant. It lay on the road, broken along the middle, just like my heart. Strings curled torn in various placed, just as my intestines were.   
  
A car ran over it. As did another, and another. I couldn't see it anymore because of the traffic.  
  
My beloved bass guitar was dead. _Dead_.  
  
End of Chapter 1.  
  
Confused? Everything will fall into its rightful place in the next chapter. 


	2. Lucky

Disclaimer: I don't own Digimon. I also don't own the song by Bif Naked. Lovely song.  
  
Thanks for the reviews. I'm really glad I got such a response. Please leave me more of them because I'm tyring a different type of writing style than I normally do ^^  
  
**Remorseful Pride  
Chapter 2: Lucky**  
  
The death of my bass guitar was like the death of me. Imagine losing your soul mate in such a way. That was like losing Taichi, only so much worse.   
  
I cannot remember what happened after that. Perhaps Taichi had brought me inside and rushed out the door to retrieve my broken instrument, my broken heart. Assuming that did happen, he had brought it upstairs and I sat numbly, staring at it. For what seemed to be hours, I simply stared at my beautiful bass. Everything I believed in, everything I valued––gone in an instant.  
  
My haze was broken once Taichi had spoke. I'm willing to gamble everything I own to the fact that he wish he had never come home early from work.  
  
I'm so sorry, Yamato, he whispered, kneeling in front of me and clasping his hands around my own.   
  
He held his breath as silence had taken place, shivering ever so slightly every few seconds. My head was a jumble of thoughts, ranging from the emotions caused by my broken bass to the thought of killing Taichi for revenge.   
  
You're _sorry_?   
  
He nodded feebly, clasping my hands tighter with his own. Please Yamato, let's just talk about this.  
  
_Let's just talk about this_, I mocked in a sarcastic tone. Why don't we put on a kettle of water and talk calmly over tea and biscuits?  
  
Yama, please, he whispered.  
  
_Yama, please_, I mocked yet again, snarling. My voice was used in its whiny state, as if teasing Taichi would take me out of this phase. It wouldn't. It only made things worse.  
  
I'm sorry! What do you expect me to say? he cried out, his face falling into the crook of my elbow.  
  
Flinging his head upwards, I stood upright and began beating upon my lover. _Beating_. Never in my life did I ever think I would do such a thing, but oh, did I ever. His face was covered in light bruises by the time I finished, and his left eye swollen to its maximum. I was so angry for everything, shouting obscene things at my poor lover. He had taken everything like a gentlemen could, leaving me to deal with my guilt after the entire ordeal. Everything had ended with continuous shouting from me, which followed his leaving of the house. It hadn't been in bitter rage, but pure tears running down his face.  
  
I love my bass guitar more than you, I recall saying, my fist making a contact with his shoulder.  
  
He hardly whimpered as this occurred and never said a thing back. Instead, he curled into a ball whilst I continued the screaming. My poor neighbors; they must have thought I was killing him.  
  
Do you hear me, Yagami Taichi?! You're a good lover and I care for you, but you breaking my guitar was like killing me! You cold hearted murderer! I trusted you to understand, but now all you care about is sex and your fucking dinner!  
  
That isn't true, Yamato! How dare you assume that about me! Taichi cried out, tears spilling down his precious face. The face I always loved so dearly, but at that moment, the face was evil, a demon sent from Hell to destroy my bass guitar. I do everything for you and all you give a damn about is your bass! I know that it means of something great to you, but there's more to life than that! There Takeru, there's me––your lover, your soul mate. I love you so much.  
  
I don't know if I'm in love with you anymore!   
  
The words came out in a harsh jumbled scream. The sob that had escaped my beloved Taichi was even more heart breaking. Even then, I had felt a touch of remorse flow through my veins. Although, it wasn't enough to say, I'm sorry, and run into his arms saying it was not his fault for the breaking of my beautiful bass. It wasn't enough to say I was in love with him and knew I always would be. If only I did have that remorse to take the actions.   
  
A moment later, he burst into a fresh set of tears and banged a hand against the floor. Damn you, Ishida. Damn you.  
  
_Damn_ me? The words flew through my head endlessly, until I felt as if I were to scream once again. It is because of that, that I did break out into a fresh round of yelling. I'm surprised, when I think about it, that my mouth hadn't run dry or croaked when I began screaming again. It wasn't even words this time, just bitter screaming and cries from deep within my gut. Never in my life did I think I was capable of throwing things like I did with pillows, pop cans, a plate or two––anything I could get my milky hands on.  
  
Stop it! Taichi cried out, ducking as one of our coffee mugs flew over his head and shattered with a dirty mess against the wall. The coffee would most likely stain if I didn't clean it soon, but obviously I wasn't in the mood caring for trivial things such as that.  
  
You broke my bass!  
  
You're breaking my heart seeing that you care for that thing more than me!  
  
Those were Taichi's last words as he fled the flat. Haven't seen him much since. Only once because of him collecting his stuff with the help of Koushiro. At that point, it had only been a week since the argument had occurred, not leaving me with enough time to have the insights I have now.  
  
It had taken months for me to reach where I am now: filled with remorse and the emotions that come with losing your two loves in one day. Technically, I still have one of them. My broken-to-pieces guitar sat in the bedroom Taichi and I used to share. For the first few weeks after our unofficial break up, I could not enter that room at all. Not even to change. I made Takeru come over and collect my needed possessions out of the room so that I could live in the living room. Of course, he had called me a drama queen and said that I shouldn't be such a . Who calls people a boob? It sounded rather stupid to me, which earned him a booting from my apartment.   
  
Mine. It was no longer in the context of Taichi and I sharing it. The thought caused me to frown for over a period of months, and I continue to frown to this very day.   
  
Taichi would be proud of me now. I know he would. The selfishness I carried for my bass guitar is gone. I hadn't had a clue of what Taichi talked about on the day of our breakup––didn't understand what was so wrong about placing my guitar above my lover and the rest of the world. Now, I see something completely different; a different perspective. It isn't wrong to love my bass guitar and treasure it, but I can't allow it to run my life and cease the authenticity of human emotion, such of as my brother or Taichi's.  
  
Only, it is too late to tell Taichi all of this, to tell him I understand now. He lives not too far away from me, in a complex with his new boyfriend. A new boyfriend. I think the name of him is Takumi. They began dating three months ago, and Taichi moved in with him from his parents home. Hikari had told Takeru this, who, of course, told me. It hurt like no pain entered before. More than when I had lost my virginity, than my losing my kitten to death. It even hurt more than––do I dare say it? My bass guitar. The death of my beloved instrument. It hurt more than all of those combined. I never thought it could overcome that, but it has.  
  
The fact that I cannot tell Taichi of my discoveries hurts just as much as the thought of him fucking another man. I want to tell him everything. Takeru happened to tell me a secret he wasn't supposed to. It turns out that Taichi is still in love me. Takeru had asked one day why I couldn't take him back, why I couldn't apologize and work on our relationship. I still wasn't so sure of everything at that point, but I still have those feelings as I did now.  
  
Sometimes, there's this demon that takes over and I can't force myself to knock on Taichi's apartment and tell him how I feel.  
  
What kind of demon? Takeru had asked, seeming a tad nervous. He probably heard about my chucking of items at Taichi and thought I was psychotic. Maybe I was.  
  
  
  
he repeated.  
  
I said. Pausing for a moment, my eyes closed and I found myself engaged into memories of the Digital World. Even then, my pride was overwhelming and caused endless obstacles. It's rather odd that my pride is still dominant. You would think, little brother, that with the feelings I carry for Taichi and the understanding I have now, that I could actually just walk over to that whatever-his-name-is––  
  
  
  
_Takumi's_ apartment and call my lover back. I can't.  
  
Why not? he asked, hands up in the air for a dramatic effect. Now who is the drama queen?  
  
I already told you: my pride, I said, all too casually. Surprised myself, actually.  
  
He groaned and began banging his head against the pillows of the couch he sat on. I merely watched, thinking many thoughts of my brother's similarity to me as a melodramatic. When he finished his little act, Takeru sighed and tilted his head.  
  
Think you'll ever tell Taichi?  
  
To this day, the question lingers in my head, eating away at the little insides I have left. It's been too long. I never answered Takeru, and I don't think he expected me to. Most likely, he proposed the question so that it would remain in mind endlessly.  
  
A few months has passed since that day with Takeru. My life has gone forward––somewhat. Found a new job as a waiter, quit my band, and bought a new frying pan. Doesn't that sound peachy? There's this other pain that is a result of these actions, a pain that helps devour my insides, supporting the question and remorse. I haven't touched a guitar since the argument, nonetheless, played one. It's as if my hands are always itchy, having a need to strum the instrument whilst the music takes me into the clouds.   
  
It takes little effort to stand and walk onto the platform that is my balcony, sighing in content as a soft breeze flew through my now-long blonde hair. My eyes overlooked the rugged skyline of Odaiba, wondering exactly where Taichi was at the moment. Was he at a fancy restaurant––where he used to take me––with Takumi? Or at home, alone with his bare thoughts? Perhaps thinking of me?   
  
The phone began ringing loudly, enough to wake any child sleeping within hearing distance. Swiftly, I found its location and answered the white beast, almost cursing it for awakening me from my peaceful state.  
  
Hey Yamato! What are you up to today?  
  
I drag out a long sigh, hoping Takeru would catch my drift. Sweet Takeru. So naïve and ignorant. Odd that I think of him as that, when only half a year ago he was in a crisis of that co-worker faking a pregnancy. Anyway, I realize he's only trying to help me through everything, but sometimes solitude is the best for me.  
  
_Sometimes?_ Make that all of the time.  
  
Want to hang out at Hikari's with me today? he asked, his voice chirping slightly. Has he not reached puberty yet? His age is nineteen. Of course he has.  
  
Not really, I answered.   
  
But we're renting good movies!   
  
Such as?   
  
A blue piece of paper caught my attention. It's scribbled with messy hand writing, crumpled at the sides. Slowly, I reach forward and pick it up, no longer listening to Takeru's whining voice as he rattled off what seemed an endless amount of movie titles. My head tilts subconsciously, for the hand writing is immediately recognized. It belonged to my beloved Taichi.   
  
_Dinner's in the oven. You'll be proud to see my vegetable casserole! Don't let it burn for me, OK?  
  
XOXO  
Taichi  
  
_Tears quickly wandered into the motion of blinking, resulting in little havens of salt water to flow down my cheeks. I remembered this night so clearly. It had been a disastrous dinner because I did forget about the casserole. Taichi was furious with me and had crumbled this very blue note in anger, saying he had told me. I never noticed the note until he mentioned it.  
  
... Hello? Ya-ma-to! Is anyone there?  
  
I'm here, I whisper, for the fear that Takeru would notice the cracking of my voice if I spoke any louder.  
  
Okay, good. So I'll pick you up in fifteen?  
  
No, I-  
  
The receiver clicked. My younger brother actually had the nerve to hang up on me! Sighing, I wander to my bedroom to change. It may have been close to dusk, but I wasn't nearly dressed for such an event, even if it is just sitting in Hikari's living room watching movies.   
  
In a short matter of time, Takeru had picked me up and driven quickly to Hikari's apartment. There were numerous times where I actually shouted to slow him down. Briefly I puzzled over my brother's whereabouts of picking up such a habit before the car stopped at the apartment of the Yagami's.  
  
It's been ages, nonetheless. Ages since I have actually looked at it like I am now. Ages since I have actually been inside, which will occur once we take the elevator. I felt like Cinderella––or how she would feel––entering the Prince's castle. Everyone's eyes casting upon me as the door opened. The Prince's eyes from the back of the room, gasping as he saw me.  
  
My beloved Taichi stood in the back of the room, eyes piecing into me. He looks up and down my body, which causes a brief period of my esteem to plummet. It is as if I'm not good enough, as if I look wrong or am holding the wrong expression.   
  
A smile forms with his placid lips, and something washes upon me. Feelings. Emotions. Every little bit I felt for Taichi came back stronger than ever. I ached to feel the strong arms of his wrap around my fragile body. More than anything I wanted to feel those lips that were ever-so-slightly parted now, press against my own.  
  
Suddenly, memories flooded through my mind. Memories of us laughing, of him pressed on my fragile body and stroking me ever so softly, which had always unnerved me; memories of his delicious mouth washing my body with small butterfly kisses; memories of him thrusting into my body, a deemed sign of our love.   
  
Out of those feelings, it must have surprised the four of us that the only thing I could ask was: What is _he _doing here?  
  
_Remember the time we made, love in the roses?   
And you took my picture in all sorts of poses  
How could I ever, get over you?  
When I'd give my life for yours.  
  
_End of Chapter 2  
  
Originally this was supposed to end in this chapter, but it's longer then I meant it to. Oh well. I hope it isn't too confusing.


	3. Trademark Grin

Disclaimer: I don't own Digimon. .  
  
Thanks for the reviews. This is the last chapter. ^^  
  
  
**Remorseful Pride  
Chapter 3: Trademark Grin  
  
  
**What is _he _doing here?  
  
Hello to you too, Yamato, Taichi said, bowing slightly in good manners.  
  
My voice seemed to disappear. Or so it seemed. It amazes me how I could fall for such a trap. Takeru picked me up on purpose; why else would we go to the Yagami apartment?  
  
You look nice.  
  
Don't try flattering me, Taichi! I snapped, my arms crossing automatically at the build of tension within my body.  
  
He sighed and shook his head, tilting it slightly. Maybe I should leave  
  
Hikari said, tugging on the sleeve of Takeru's shirt. We'll slip out for a few minutes. We need to rent the movies anyway.  
  
They left at the uncanny moment before either of us could refuse. So there we were, opposite ends of the room with our eyes both to the ground. It's aberrant to be in such a situation, especially compared to before, when neither of us would think about leaving the other apart for too long. It's astonishing how things could change so quickly, how the incredible spark between two slowly fades and turns into nothing but a chore. When did that occur? When I began noticing this drift and wrapped myself into my music?   
  
Are you going to even talk to me?  
  
I merely shrugged, focusing my attention upon a picture frame taken with Hikari and Taichi near a swing set. It was the only thing that kept me from making a fool out of my self and running into Taichi's arms, apologizing merciless.  
  
What do I have to do to make you talk to me? he asked softly, his voice wavering slightly.  
  
Without glancing up, I asked, Where's your _Tasumi_?  
  
I broke up with him a few weeks ago. Been living here ever since.  
  
My head rose in surprise, meeting with his forgiving chocolate eyes. You did?  
  
He nodded and had taken a seat on the couch, resting his head on his hands. I could feel his intense stare on my side.  
  
I'm so sorry, about everything.  
  
I attempted ignoring the matter, which surmised successful at the time. The words seemed so hollow, but I knew in my heart, that they meant dearly. I felt as if I had to hear them again, and again, which I knew wouldn't happen. He shouldn't even be saying he's sorry. The destruction of my bass guitar was an accident, although he had deserted me afterwards.  
  
Maybe it was for the best. Nothing would have changed if he hadn't left me for half a year. I wouldn't be where I am now.  
  
You know what? I can't take this silence, nor do I need to stand it.  
  
He stood abruptly, storming towards the door. I could only watch him walk past me, but at the ever so slightly brush of his shoulder, something snapped in me. Something that I hadn't felt for a long time. It must have been in the Digital World, when Taichi was fighting Piedmon and I was on my way with Jyou to help him.  
  
I think my pride was enduring a push aside.   
  
I cried out. My hand latched onto his shoulder and spun him around so that he was face to face with me.   
  
His face grew soft and relaxed, unlike the pinched tightness that was present only moments ago. A tan hand trailed to my cheek, caressing ever so slightly. I melted into the gentle touch, nuzzling softly against his grasp.  
  
I'm the one who's sorry––sorry for not being the boyfriend that I should have been.  
  
Oh Yamato, he whispered, his hand wandering to my back, pulling me into a soft embrace.  
  
I was being so selfish. Leaning into his physique, I softly began stroking his leg, trying to blink away the many tears that began escaping. Light sobs eluded my dry lips, and I was grateful when Taichi drew me closer to him, to the point where I could feel his breathing upon my forehead.  
  
It's okay. We'll work on everything.  
  
It's not okay, Taichi. My pride, it––  
  
He silenced my soon-to-be panicked state with a soft kiss. It was warm, tender––nothing I had felt in what seemed to be an eternity. When he drew back, he smiled and pulled me into his embrace once again.  
  
I'm sorry, Taichi. I––  
  
That's all I needed to hear, _koi_. That's all I needed to hear.  
  
Once again, his warm lips collided with my own, in a way that I hadn't felt imaginable. There was something warm glowing inside of me. The spark has returned.  
  
***  
  
Feels content, doesn't it?  
  
Taichi's head tilted slightly and leaned down where it contacted with my lips. The hands that I begged to touch me, did, leaving a breathtaking feeling in my groin. I whimpered as he ended the contact, falling into his sturdy embrace.  
  
It does, my _koi. _It does, he whispered, arising from the bed we had been sitting on. He turned to me, wearing a grin that surprised me into believing he was up to something. Everyone knew that trademark grin. Anyone who didn't, couldn't be considered a companion, nonetheless a close friend or lover.  
  
I watched him descend the room after he had told me to wait in there whilst he fetched my present. Subconsciously, I scanned the room, noting few changes to the way it had been before Taichi moved out. There was a new picture frame on the dresser; the picture inside being only a month old. We had taken it the day after Taichi forgave me . Never before did we have a picture of the two of us standing together. At the time, it never stroke me as odd, but now, I can't imagine falling asleep without the beautiful photograph.  
  
My thoughts were interrupted when Taichi reentered the room, grinning that trademark once again. He held his hand behind the doorway, so that I couldn't see what on Earth he was holding.   
  
Close your eyes.  
  
I couldn't help but laugh at the corniness of it all. No longer did I feel like Cinderella, seeing her prince, but felt as if I were in one of those romance comedies, finally dignifying my love for the perfect man. The thought only made me laugh harder, which also caused Taichi to laugh too.   
  
As I closed my eyes and continued to laugh, I could hear Taichi's unquiet footsteps along the carpet as he approached me.  
  
Hold out yours hands, but keep your eyes shut, Yama.  
  
Obeying his wishes, only a few giggles continued escaping my lips. Taichi was now quiet, setting something slowly onto my hands. It wasn't too heavy, nor too light. The texture was smooth, cool feeling as my fingers ran along it. My laughter died down as the subject of interest filled my senses.  
  
I already knew what it was.  
  
Opening my eyes, I found myself staring at a bass guitar. It was shiny, with it's usual four strings and twenty-one frets. A beautiful black color, as well.  
  
I gasped, You found me an _Aira_!  
  
Is that good or bad? he asked, taking a seat next to me on the bed.  
  
For a moment, I stared at the beautiful instrument. Glancing up, a smile formed onto my lips, causing me to set the instrument down. It's wonderful, Taichi. It's so beautiful.  
  
He glanced into my eyes, looking a tad nervous. It seemed as if he briefly thought I was lying and was just being nice to not upset him, which was completely untrue. Slowly, he reached across my lap and took the instrument once more, resting it on the two of our legs. Flipping it over, he pointed into the corner where delicate handwriting was placed.  
  
I had it inscribed. I know it's nothing compared to your old one, but––  
  
Oh Taichi! I immediately covered a hand over his mouth and leaned forward to read the inscription. It read:  
  
_To my dearest Yamato,   
May we never lose ours souls again  
Love always, Taichi  
  
_Reading that brought an emotion I rarely felt. A pure joy inside my heart, resulting in a burst of tears. I jumped into Taichi's embrace, causing him to fall back against the bed. The bass guitar was set gently to the side of the bed before Taichi had flipped me over and we began kissing erotically.  
  
It was the first night in seven months that we made love.  
  
Now, as my lover rested his strong body against mine, deep in sleep, I looked at the room before me. It is complete. There isn't a piece missing like before, which was Taichi. He is here now. By my side. Breathing into my hair. His arms wrapped around my lean body.   
  
The remorse and pride within me finally gave up, earning me my soul mate in safe return. There's always a battle between the two, and oddly enough, they are exact opposites. For now, there is a fine balance, leaving me content in my life once more. Hopefully the balance will last long, but with Taichi at my side, I can only predict it will. It will last a lifetime, just as our love.  
  
  
The End  
  
  
Special thanks to ColourBlind KoNy for helping me with the description of the bass. She's awesome =)  
  
*sighs* I think this is my favorite Taito I have ever written. I hope everyone has enjoyed it. I couldn't help but write a sweet, sappy one this time! Too many angsts lately, even though this did have plenty of angst...  
  
Anyway, thank you for the many reviews! Hope the ending was satisfying.


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